Honoring Heavenly Child
- Wish “Good morning” and “Good night” to them in your mind, out loud, whatever you’re comfortable with.
- Quietly enjoy everyday life with your remaining family. Nothing honors your Heavenly child more than when you continue to nurture their family that is still here with you. It is difficult but so necessary.
- Continue to display photos of your Heavenly child in your home. They will forever be your child and a huge part of your life.
- Create a place in your home that holds mementos of your Heavenly child. (i.e.: gifts that they gave to you or made for you, religious items, a candle, a single flower, whatever you wish to display).
- Wear a locket or carry a pocket watch with their picture in it
- Some parents get a tattoo to symbolize their child. (butterfly, heart, angel or even a portrait of their child)
- Visit their final resting place when you can and maintain it nicely.
- Talk about them. Make sure that everyone in your life knows that you still love to discuss your Heavenly child.
- Write in a journal about your Heavenly child for future generations to read. It’s a wonderful way for your future grandchildren to “know” their aunt/uncle.
- When you can, reach out to other families who are suffering too.
- Create a scrapbook(s) or a memory box for your other children to take with them when they grow up. It is okay to have a close friend do it for you.
Once a Year/On Special Occasions:
- Plant a tree/flowering bush in your own garden or at their school or church.
- Donate to a charity in his/her name on birthdays, holidays, etc.
- Plant an entire memory garden at your home with meaningful flowers, trees and bushes.
- Donate blood to the Red Cross on their birthday, holidays, etc.
- Give out an award in their memory at their school for something that they are passionate about.
- On their birthday, Heavenly anniversary date, etc. go out to dinner at their favorite restaurant or make some of their favorite dishes. Also, if you can, have a cake in their memory.
- Have a lit candle at their place setting at special dinners. (Holidays, birthdays, etc.)
- Allow a close family member or friend to use your child’s name for their own children. This can be such a wonderful and meaningful honor.
- Take your children that are still with you on a trip away. This can help you focus on them and not on your sadness. However, don’t expect to hide from your grief. It will be a nice distraction, though. We did this on our daughter’s birthday that first year (which was just 6 days before her brother’s Heavenly anniversary date).
While on Vacation:
- Visit a church or spiritual place there and light a candle for your child, buy a small memento that your Heavenly child would have liked, discuss your Heavenly child with your family (ie: “Would he have liked it here?” “What would he want to buy or to see?”)
- Bring along a framed photo of your Heavenly child and place it in your hotel room. It brings along their image on this family experience.
- Visit places that each family member wants to see, including your Heavenly child. Ask your other children for their input on this. It helps to include them in the outing. Praise them for their choice.
- Light a candle in memory of them.
- Say a prayer or scripture in memory of them.
- Include them in a toast from you to their sibling/family member.
- Dance to their favorite song.
- Include their favorite flower or color in the wedding, etc.
- Include them in the wedding program. “This union is being blessed from Heaven by ________.” Or “________, brother/sister of the bride/groom is witnessing their union from Heaven.”
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