What do I say?
Sadly, nothing you can say will take away the anguish that this family is feeling. However, here are some examples of what was said to us and how we felt about them.
Comments That Can Hurt
- “You’re still young. You can have more children.”
- “I understand exactly what you are going through.”
- “I didn’t come because it was too hard for me.”
- “Be strong and don’t cry. You will make him sad in Heaven.”
- “God chose you because you are so strong.”
- “Was it something that you did, do you think?”
- “I’m glad it’s not me, because I’m not like you. I would be devastated.”
- “You need to snap out of this.”
- “I wanted to give you time and space. That’s why I didn’t call, write or visit.”
- “You’re still this sad?” (3 months after losing Josh)
- “I don’t talk about him because it will make you sad.”
Comments That Can Help
- “What a joy he was.”
- “He was the best!”
- “Thank you for sharing him with us.”
- “We remember when….”
- “I remember his smile, laugh, etc.”
- “He will forever be in our hearts.”
- “We are so very sorry.”
- “I’m so glad that he was here.”
- “My kids will know all about him someday.”
- “I will tell everyone I know about him.”
- “I love your family. I will love him forever.”
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