To You From the Rojas Family

Hello,

We would like to express our deepest sympathy to you and your family. We want you to know that we truly understand and empathize with you in this time of deep sorrow.

As I stated before, we have some idea of what you’re going through. On April 26, 2005 our 10-year-old son, Joshua P. Rojas, died suddenly. He was practicing with his travel soccer team when he collapsed on the field and I was unable to resuscitate him. After 18 weeks, the medical examiner finally determined that Joshua was born with Megalencephaly. In simple terms, Joshua’s brain was larger and heavier than the average person’s brain. This congenital defect most likely triggered a seizure that ended Josh’s physical life here with us.

We are not sharing this information with you to further burden you. We just want you to know that we understand the overwhelming grief that you are feeling. Regardless of how it has happened or what age your beloved child is when he or she passes on, a parent will forever miss, crave, and remember their child.

We remember the initial days of our grief. We remember praying to God and to Joshua to remind us to breathe. We remember going through the motions of the service, burial and visits from family and friends. But after that time passes and the quiet returns to the house, allow yourselves to fully mourn and grieve for your child. I know that it sounds unbelievable, but embrace that agony. Allow yourselves to feel it, no matter how awful it is. Also, every so often, allow yourselves a reprieve to look up and remember the blessings that you still have all around you in your lives. I call these peaceful times “moments of grace.” Eventually, your moments of grace will become more frequent. Even in the depth of your despair, there is beauty in the memories of a child who is a gift to you. Cry for him, close your eyes and picture him, hear his laugh inside your mind…. Thank God for the blessing of this child and for all of your loved ones that are still with you.

We think that you will find that each day holds a new memory of your precious one. The memories will be like a motion picture in your mind. You will forever crave his physical presence and miss him. However, remember that he is safe and that no matter what disputes, large or small, that you might have had with him, ultimately he knows that you love him and he loves you.

Believe us when we say that even though the pain, longing and sadness will never go away, somehow you will continue. Eventually, you will treasure every memory and embrace every second or moment of grace that you can find. Ultimately, aren’t we so very glad that they were here with us, even for such a brief time?

We have asked Joshua to help welcome your child. We are sure that they are safe together. Your child now has a new little friend that shares his love of laughter. Josh was an extremely spiritual boy and he will keep your precious one company for you until you can someday join him.  

Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you need anything. However, please don’t feel obligated to do so. Please just know that we are here treasuring our daughter and remembering, missing and honoring our precious Joshua and now your beloved child, as well.

Yours in sorrow,
Kristan, Pat, Katrina & Joshua  Rojas