Treat yourselves gently. Listen to your heart and have realistic expectations for yourself. You alone will know what you can do. Below is a brief checklist of options.

Shopping

• Give cash/gift certificates
• Shop online
• Ask for help
• Shop early
• Make your gifts
• Shop with a friend
• Exchange gifts at a later time
• Shop at off hours & bring a list

Decorations

• Modify them
• Ask for help
• Let others do it
• Have a special decoration for your child
• Light a candle in their honor
• Skip it

Cards

• Shorten your list
• Ask for help
• Include an update letter
• Skip it

Music

• Listen to their favorite songs
• Purchase new music
• Avoid the radio
• Dance to their favorite song

   

Gatherings

• Attend for a while
• Don’t attend
• Have others come to you
• Go to a new place
• Prepare the meal
• Ask others to cook
• Have food catered
• Buy baked goods
• Eat new foods
• Include their favorite dishes
• Don’t commit. Let them know that you will come if you can. But, make no promises.

Finding Moments of Peace at Holiday Times & Special Observances

• Go to an observance that is less crowded & more intimate.
• Don’t pressure yourself or allow others to determine what you do.
• Speak their name freely
• Say a toast or have a moment of silence at your gathering.
• Light a candle and place it at your child’s place setting.
• Place flowers in the center of your holiday table in their honor.
• Place a wreath, flowers etc. at their final resting spot or in a special location.
• Plant a tree in memory of your child.
• Volunteer to help others.
• Donate food and gifts to shelters.
• Share stories & memories with close friends and family.
• Create a small remembrance area for your child. Include some favorite photos, small items, etc.
• Donate to a charity in your child’s honor. Encourage your family and friends to give to do so, as well. This is a way for them to still feel like they are giving a gift to your child.
• Give small tokens that belonged to your child to those closest to them. (Small stuffed animals, trading cards, drawings, something with their handwriting on it, etc.)
• Cuddle up with those closest to you in peaceful silence or surround yourself with people who will allow you to cry without judgement.