Treat yourselves gently. Listen to your heart and have realistic expectations for yourself. You alone will know what you can do. Below is a brief checklist of options.


  • Give cash/gift certificates
  • Shop online
  • Ask for help
  • Shop early
  • Make your gifts
  • Shop with a friend
  • Exchange gifts at a later time
  • Shop at off hours & bring a list


  • Modify them
  • Ask for help
  • Let others do it
  • Have a special decoration for your child
  • Light a candle in their honor
  • Skip it


  • Shorten your list
  • Ask for help
  • Include an update letter
  • Skip it


  • Listen to their favorite songs
  • Purchase new music
  • Avoid the radio
  • Dance to their favorite song



  • Attend for a while
  • Don’t attend
  • Have others come to you
  • Go to a new place
  • Prepare the meal
  • Ask others to cook
  • Have food catered
  • Buy baked goods
  • Eat new foods
  • Include their favorite dishes
  • Don’t commit. Let them know that you will come if you can. But, make no promises.

Finding Moments of Peace at Holiday Times & Special Observances

  • Go to an observance that is less crowded & more intimate.
  • Don’t pressure yourself or allow others to determine what you do.
  • Speak their name freely
  • Say a toast or have a moment of silence at your gathering.
  • Light a candle and place it at your child’s place setting.
  • Place flowers in the center of your holiday table in their honor.
  • Place a wreath, flowers etc. at their final resting spot or in a special location.
  • Plant a tree in memory of your child.
  • Volunteer to help others.
  • Donate food and gifts to shelters.
  • Share stories & memories with close friends and family.
  • Create a small remembrance area for your child. Include some favorite photos, small items, etc.
  • Donate to a charity in your child’s honor. Encourage your family and friends to give to do so, as well. This is a way for them to still feel like they are giving a gift to your child.
  • Give small tokens that belonged to your child to those closest to them. (Small stuffed animals, trading cards, drawings, something with their handwriting on it, etc.)
  • Cuddle up with those closest to you in peaceful silence or surround yourself with people who will allow you to cry without judgement.

To learn more about how we may be able to help you in your time of need, please contact us today by calling 585-629-6660 or sending an email through our contact page.